To say I have had struggles in life is putting it mildly. I was the youngest out of 6 kids, born in 1963. I was sexually abused by people close to me before kindergarten through the age of 15. I asked my mom for help around 8yrs old but I was ignored. Mom was addicted to prescription drugs. My father was a simple man with a 6th grade education who stayed busy trying to provide for his family, so he was not aware of any of this. I was a wild child to say the least. I had an abortion at age 11. On a path of destruction, I was already smoking pot and cigarettes by 11. I snuck around with much older guys, even dating one of my 8th grade teachers. I was a toy. I met my ex-husband at age 15 and got married at 18. I had my son at 19 and my daughter at 24. I was a PTA mom, room mother, soccer mom and things were good….I thought.

In 1993, my father died , my husband left me and I turned into a major alcoholic. I lost my home in 1995 and my children and I moved in with my mother. I continued to drink, 24/7 - I drank a gallon of vodka a day. I was a horrible mother. I would drive drunk with my children in the car. I got my first DUI in 1996 with my children in the car. I lost my license, my car and job. I did time in jail, 37 days in drug rehab, 6 months of drug after-care, 6 months of parenting classes, and still continued to drink. I carried a flask wherever I went. I even took my driving test while under the influence and passed. Finally in early 1999 my son had enough. He was driving at this point and he informed me that he was taking his sister and leaving. February 7, 1999, I quit drinking. I was hospitalized for a week, and by the grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ, I have never had any alcohol since. But I really didn’t give God the glory He so greatly deserved.

Finally, I was sober and working (showing up every day), and God sent me this glorious angel named Trish. She visited daily, giving me little pieces of hope. After a few years, I went to work for her. I got to see her shine, no matter what. I even mocked her ability to give glory to God no matter what the problem. I would listen to Christian radio every day at work and then run to my car for rock ‘n roll when work was over. I was brought up in church and I really didn’t want any of it.

Finally, all the years of Trish planting seeds in my heart, blossomed. I asked Jesus into my heart and he showed me forgiveness. He has allowed me to forgive my mother. I now understand that she really didn’t do anything worse than I had done to my own children. Jesus has allowed my children to still love and respect me after all I put them through. He has so graciously shown me that I can choose blessings or curses, the choice is up to me. The ability that Jesus has given me in that respect alone is a true gift.

Now the Lord has allowed me the pleasure of having my granddaughters in my life. Jesus gave me these girls so I would still live. Thank you Jesus, for waiting for me.

Here I am Lord, Annette Brown at your service. Please use me.